Yesterday, I was privileged to receive 12 love-filled handmade gifts for Mother's Day from my daughter. When I asked her why 12, she quipped, "Because that is the date of Mother's Day this year :)." Kid logic is good for everyone. It helped me get one gift more than the number of years I have been a mom.
As I turn 11 this year, it is an opportune time to share my top reflections on how motherhood has shaped my appearance in life and work. It is, after all, one of the biggest identities that I carry, even subconsciously.
The Value of Play
This one is straightforward, right? Theoretically, yes, but practically, it has taken me years to learn the art of living and working for joy. Society's hard conditioning can often make it difficult for us to prioritize our happiness over duty and make us live for the proverbial delayed gratification. With trial and error, but primarily by observing my child, I have witnessed and, in time, imbibed the joy of flow - being immersed in something so much to the exclusion of everything else that time itself stops. This ingredient has become essential for my health and productivity at home and work.
The mindset of play also extends to being of a flexible mind, not judging others harshly, moving on, and living one's truth. A five-minute chat with my daughter often clarifies timeless concepts to which I have given several hours of study.
The art of presence and play that kids teach us can free us from the racquet of our minds while helping us hone our clarity and purpose amid the most brutal storms. These are definitely assets in navigating life and work.
Embracing the Juggle of Identities
When I became a mother, the role consumed me so completely that I had to take a career break. When I thought I was ready to reclaim the professional identity that went missing, biased recruitment practices and a lack of flexible work held me back. It was as if others were deciding what identity suited me and how much.
This societal force egged us to start FlexiBees—as a way to provide choice—the choice to work, earn money, raise kids, etc., which seemed like Hobson's choice for the millions of women dropping out of the workforce.
The incredible pressure on time forces a young mother to be choiceful of the identities she most longs for between her chores and much-needed shut-eye. She must also consider how much of each identity she wants to embrace: working professional, passionate hobbyist, friend, community advocate, and more.
The mother of a school-going kid has a different set of demands on her time and emotional availability for parenting. As her life stage changes, so do her priorities for what she wants for herself.
I have experienced first-hand how flexible work offers choices between work and life, plus the option to juggle and mould our identity as it evolves at every stage of life.
Flexibility has allowed me and other mothers to adapt our identities as we grow and fiercely guard this freedom of choice as we refuse to be defined by others.
Circle of life
Motherhood and my inner work journey have exploded my understanding of my role in life. I used to think it was my job to "teach my child" language, values, manners, and world ways. I am now scratching the surface of learning how deep a child's wisdom goes. She teaches me by being herself, and I learn from understanding my reactions to her.
When I see her being hard on herself, I can see that mirrored in me.
My own failings as a mother help me see the human-ness of my own mother, and how impossible a standard we put on the label "Mother".
Being a mother or a startup founder (or both) means being an eternal student of life. Accepting our cringe moments as an essential part of this learning journey, as each day we grow wiser in our roles.
This Mother's day, I want us to empower ourselves, with this freedom to acknowledge our own growth journey. However weird the trajectory looks from the outside.
